Holidays are here!

It's happened again.  A couple of weeks ago, I was WAAAAAY ahead of this Christmas season.  I had my list figured out.  Decorations were up.  The outline of the Christmas letter was forming in my brain.  Almost all of our shopping was done.  Crafty things were almost finished.  Then we flipped the calendar and the kids got all excited and started counting days.  And time sped up.  Youngest kiddo was jumping up and down this morning reminding me that it is only ten days until Christmas.  TEN DAYS????? 

Suddenly having the Christmas letter ALMOST done and the shopping ALMOST done and the crafting ALMOST done is not quite cutting it....  TEN DAYS???? 

Oh to be a kid again!  The exciting anticipation of Christmas!  The warmth, the extra time with family and friends, the traditions, the mystery.  I think sometimes we grown-ups (I grudgingly concede to being almost grown-up) forget the wonder of the season.  Shop, wrap, finish, cross off the list.  But Christmas is joy, love, wonder, surprise.  Unfathonable goodwill.  A gift given which didn't follow protocol, yet was so much more.  So I am suspending my obnoxious pace and am determined to enjoy the season even if I don't get everything done.  I'm hugging my kids, getting most of the letters out, sitting down for dinner with my family, forgetting about that last shopping, cuddling with my husband and writing notes instead of joining the parade of mugs, ornaments, and light-up ties.  Ah... to be a kid again!  I think I'm almost there....

And for friends and family... a "Hi, Baby!" update!  Even sweet, smiley, special kiddo joins us in greeting the wee one! 

Oldest kiddo is 13 weeks along now.  Her days are a roller coaster of emotions.  It's not easy to be pregnant at 16.  One foot in the teenage, high school world.  And one foot in the expectant mom, grown-up world.  She has cried more in the last week than in the past ten years as her two worlds sometimes collide.  And all I can do is hold her and let her know that everything will be ok.  And it will.  It's just hard to see the future while standing in the present. 

Oldest kiddo and teenage father-to-be had their first prenatal class on Monday.  Finally a bright spot in an otherwise gloomy week!  Rather than an oddity, they were just another expectant couple.  Younger, yes, but sharing stories of morning sickness and mood swings along with everyone else.  And they heard their baby's heartbeat!  Both kiddos came out of class with smiles on their faces that reached right into their souls.  They are connecting with a new group of peers that can share and relate to this new life path which they are traveling.

And... sassy second child had a birthday!  What a spirit this kiddo is!  She had a bunch of giggly friends over for a party this weekend.  Totally girlie-girl time.  Yet this kiddo is really more about muck boots and shoveling poo.  She and most-recent-guy-friend broke up on Sunday.  Amicably.  And a new guy-friend asked her out.  I'm so darned proud of this kiddo!  She said, "not yet"!  Not yes, not no.  But not YET.  What a great answer!

Whooops... enough happy thoughts for today!  I just got called to sub!

Have a happy day!  Relax and enjoy the season!        

New Normal

I feel like I am emerging from a fog.  With sincere apologies for the lack of posting in the past couple of weeks.  Ummmm... several weeks.  Our family learned some BIG NEWS.  Yes, ALL CAPS BIG NEWS.  And I just wasn't ready to share.  Sooooo... now that the news is out and the fog is lifting, I'm ready to write again.  And dust and vaccuum and clean closets and rearrange furniture and shake out rugs and wash beds...  Oooops.  I diverge.  You're waiting for the news, not the to-do-list...

I'm going to be a grandma! 

Ummmm... a few years earlier than any of us anticipated.  Quite a few years earlier.  Hence the fog.  It has been a topsy turvy couple of weeks, with our world turned upside down and shaken vigorously.  We have two teen parents-to-be in shock and trying to figure out what paths their lives are going to follow now.  And a bunch of siblings with varying reactions.  And two sets of grandparents-to-be busy working out details for education (the teens), child care (the baby), living arrangements and how to support the teens and sibs.  Add to that all the people with staunch opinions about what we should do.  Or what the new parents-to-be should or shouldn't do.  I have been tempted to just go into lock-down mode.  Just shut our doors and hold our family close.

And then there are the glimpses of normal.  The friends who are able to just listen.  JUST... not the "just" like "a little thing" but like the "only" thing.  Friends who listen.  Who are able to be there.  Who say, "I'm here if you ever need to talk."  Who go for long walks or offer a cup of tea and an ear.  The friends that call or message just to say they love us.  I thank God for the people who can just be with us as we figure out our new normal.

Ah!  New normal... I first heard that phrase from a friend who was battling cancer.  How the happy, typical days sandwiched, meshed, sometimes collided with chemofunk days.  (For beautiful reading, check out green bananas cancer blog )  Now it seems to fit our lives.  As we emerge from two weeks of wandering around without noticing much of the world around us, we have little bits of normal peeking back into our lives.  Like sitting down to a wonderful dinner with our whole family and a couple of extra teenage friends.  Or hanging all the "winter" wall quilts, dusting, and cleaning up a stack of accumulated magazines.  And bits of New Normal... like chatting with my kiddo about changing the TV room into a bedroom for her and the little one.  Suddenly it is wonderful to plan a new room... bed, rocking chair, crib, changing table.  Or the little bursts of excitement as I look forward to meeting my grandchild!  There is the New Normal of anticipating college as a day student.  My kiddo wanted to attend college within two hours of home before this new path, so looking at colleges within an hour of home is not a disappointment to her.  And, of course, the New Normal of a very different junior and senior year of highschool than anticipated.  But different doesn't have to be worse.  Just different.

And there is the constant.  Love.  Our family.  The friends who love and support us.  The wonderful kids... the ones who live here, the ones who visit here.  This baby will be a blessing.  This baby will be loved.

Soooo... I'm leaving you with one more glimpse of normal.  We were given a couple of huge pumpkins right after halloween.  They sat on our porch as we wandered around in a fog.  Uncarved.  Unfinished.  This morning, walking back up from getting the littler kiddos on the bus, this sight caught my eye.  Hubby took a few minutes last night to carve us some goofy smiles!

Have a happy day!         

Camp!

My little girl went to camp!

I know, I know... pretty typical.  Lots of kids go to camp.  But for our third kiddo, camp is a REALLY BIG deal....  This extra-special young person has extensive disabilities.  Lots of typical stuff is difficult for her.  Keeping up with her classmates... well, that is a dream for us.  But kiddo's 7th grade class was spending a week at Camp.  We sure didn't want Smiley to miss out on the experience!

The theme for the week was, "stretching your rubber band."  I do love that image.  Everyones' rubber band is different.  For some, going on the zip-line or swinging on the giant swing was stretching the rubber band.  For our kiddo, walking through the woods over rocks and roots was stretching.  So was staying overnight for two nights with her classmates (and mom). 

Keeping up to her small group for an hour-long game walking all over the campus with frequent bursts of running was a challenge.  Climbing 1/4 mile of a mountain... yup, that stretched the rubber band. 

And climbing part way up a ladder... BIG STRETCH!

 

I am sooooooo very proud of this kid!

See that smile?  We saw an awful lot of it last week!

And this smile?  Easy-peasy... we got all the *boys* to stand behind the photographer....

Yup, pretty typical girl, she is!

Have a happy day! 

A mix of news...

Ok... I'm 'fessing up.  I've been neglecting this little blog.  Too much fun in the sun.  We recently got back from Maine where, among other fun times, we had a hilarious murder mystery for 15 (the previous two posts will take you to my other blog for the whole story).  The girls are home for the summer and we are enjoying a mix of lazy days, industrious days, and a constant parade of friends visiting.  Maggie and I are in the middle of summer concert season and have enjoyed lots of goofing around and music with the band. 

And, in the midst of all that fun, there is also heartache.  I have three friends battling cancer right now.  All at varying stages.  But it all hurts.  It seems that the pendulum swings very high and very low this summer.  On the one hand, we are enjoying a peaceful, relaxed, goofy summer with family and friends.  And, hand in hand, are my constant thoughts and prayers for these three friends.

Soooo... how to write a post that swings so?  I guess, like life, I will mix it up and let it swing...

Speaking of swinging...  I love this band!  And to my left is Lucie.  I showed up unannounced in October for my first practice.  I was scared.  Talking a mile a minute and cracking jokes (also how I act when I'm comfortable and happy, so it can be difficult to tell the difference).  But I was jumping-out-of-my-skin nervous.  It had been 15 years since I had played the trombone.  I was hoping I could still remember a Bflat scale...  Lucie welcomed me with an easy smile, shared her music, joked about accidentals... and when I got completely lost in the middle of a song, put down my trombone and started laughing, she reassured me that she still had a hard time getting through that piece.  Lucie really made the difference between falling in love with the band and running for door, never to return again....

Lucie is also one of my friends fighting cancer.  She has a beautiful blog where she shares her journey.  http://greenbananascancerblog.blogspot.com/  This summer has brought new symptoms for her.  Including vomitting.  Which, unfortunately, playing the trombone worsened.  God, I hate cancer!

So our latest gatherings and goofiness have been missing Lucie.  Our section just isn't the same without her there.  Oh gosh!  Don't get me wrong!  We still have a great time....  Wacky, goofy fun, plenty of conversation, and honest caring for each other are still hallmarks of the the trombone section.  We can make a joke out of anything.  Like flute players who sit dangerously close to our slide ends.  Or our conductor who has a difficult time cuing us with a straight face at a concert when we are all wearing party hats and stickers identifying us as "tbone" players.  And we joke about ourselves.  Constantly.  Whenever our director's hands are down.  And sometimes while they are still up.... 

Did I mention we eat cake? 

And caring.  The guys are a bit... ummm... protective.  They work very hard to make sure Maggie and I aren't left alone for a concert.  Each of the guys are planning to make a concert in August that is a stretch for them.  Trying to protect us from playing alone, I guess.  Or maybe protecting us from retaliation from the flute players?  Or maybe they are protecting the band from us musically?  You never know when that Bflat scale might be played.  I might panic and head for that door...   

One of my major roles this summer is that of chauffeur.  The oldest two kiddos have been working;  Maggie at a vineyard and Claire on a horse farm.  I'm driving.  A lot.  (Unless Maggie gets ahold of those car keys first!)   But around the trips to drop off and fetch kiddos, our days are relaxed.  Lunches on the porch.  Board games.  Long walks.  The pool. 

Unless I get a project in mind and decide to haul furniture all day.  Claire (the kiddo on the horse) and I cleaned out our loft area above the garage.  That loft has been many things over the past few years.  From office to bedroom to party space.  But most recently, ping pong and storage area.  I love the ping pong!  But the furniture storage was driving me nuts.  So Claire gave me a hand and we took chairs and desks and beds and bureaus (mostly old yardsale finds) to donate.  We laughed and talked and sweated and drove around all day.  Gosh!  I love summers with my kids!  

      

Kids... their godmother is another of my friends fighting cancer.  Again.  This is the third and possibly fourth time the ugly beast has invaded her life.  The first two times were 30+ and 20+ years ago.  And again, it has been caught early.  Her prognosis is good.  The next couple of months are shaping up full of uncertainty, discomfort and fear for her, though.  God, I hate cancer!

My third friend battling cancer, I saw at the post office the other day.  We talked for nearly an hour.  She has to stay close to home due to fatigue.  And she is looking at another proceedure that will restrict her even further.  I don't remember all the technical terms, but she can't even have visitors for an extended amount of time.  The risk of infection is too high while her body fights to rebuild strength.  God, I hate cancer!

Well... this post has been punctuated in typical summer-style by a trip to pick up a kiddo, hanging loads of laundry, washing dishes, playing a board game, and taking a long walk with my neighbor.  What hasn't been punctuating my summer lately?  This neglected sewing machine.  It's about time to get back to working on writing, sewing and creating.  At least until the next kiddo needs a ride....

Have a happy day!